Twelve Doors to a Blue Green World
by blessende
Summary: Eren decides to share his memories with Levi, who of course has much to comment on. Set in the Searching for Levi universe. Two parts. [LevixEren]
1. Part 1

(Rated for profane language and two minor explicit scenes. Set in the 'Searching for Levi' universe.)

* * *

TWELVE DOORS TO A BLUE-GREEN WORLD

_(Or Twelve Doors to His Heart)_

It was a night in September, one of those rare nights when Levi didn't come home late and Eren was actually attempting to do his 'Newtonian Mechanics' assignment by himself. He was sitting cross-legged on the bed, poring over the papers he'd brought from home. He heard the sound of the shower running in the bathroom, in a steady, rhythmic pitter-patter over the tiles.

_If I've seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants,_ the great man Newton had once said.

Yeah, well, if Eren had seen any further, it was by standing on the shoulder of a short, petit young man called Armin Arlert. He could have really used Armin's help right now. Too bad that his best bud was a million light years away.

_The universe is like a dynamic clockwork,_ another of the great man's quotes that Professor Samson often cited.

_Right._ He bet neither Newton nor Professor Samson had ever been to this lonely, desolate planet called Titan.

Eren stared down at the question on his case study.

Q. 23 of his assignment stated. A body is thrown from the surface of the earth at an angle _alpha_ to the horizontal with the initial velocity _v_. Assuming the air drag to be negligible, find:

a. the time of motion; b. maximum height of ascent and horizontal range; c. curvature radii trajectory.

Eren fisted his hair in anguish.

_Fuck you, Isaac. Find it yourself, you asshat._

Eren Jaeger chewed into the end of his ballpoint pen, frustration piling up like chips on his shoulder. He was frankly wondering why the apple that fell off a tree and landed on Newton's head didn't kill the man on the outset.

The shower faucet had run dry and he heard the hunt for a towel. Soon, the door creaked open and the smell of soap wafted to his nose. Eren hummed, aware of the little signs but not paying attention to any of them. His assignment was driving him up the wall. And Eren wished he'd brought in a couple of references from his world to help him. Like Irodov. Maybe even a Resnick and Halliday.

_Procrastination isn't going to get you anywhere. Just draw your block diagrams, the key forces and_- Eren was startled to silence when he felt the covers shift behind him. And lips began trailing kisses along the spine of his crinkled t-shirt. He leaned away and shook his head. No, he needed to solve this. _Come on, Eren. Work on the block diagrams, the equilibrium point_- Chiselled arms curled around his waist, trying to lure him away from the papers-_ No... he was so very close to cracking this problem. Brain, concentrate_- A hand palmed the front of his jeans and slipped under the waistband- _Crap, gravity. Yeah... _He needed to take the g-force into the equation. Gravity was good, excellent in fact like that ubiquitous hand groping him- _No, no, don't think about that_- The searching hand wrapped around his length and Eren's reasoning went haywire. His breath hitched and his hips bucked.- _Okay, on second thoughts, fuck gravity too._

Eren turned slowly, a low, menacing growl emerging from his throat. He slapped a hand across the assailant's chest and pushed the older back on the bed. It didn't help that his body was aroused at the sight of a semi naked Rivaille with just a towel wrapped around him.

'Dammit, Levi. I was trying to concentrate. Cut me some slack, will you? If I fail this paper, it's going to be entirely _your_ fault.'

Mischievous grey eyes sought his green ones and reeled him in closer. The freshly showered corporal caught Eren's brown head with his free hand and kissed the brunette at the corner of his lips. Levi's hand buried itself in his hair, pulling at the brown stands with a strange fervor.

Eren lost himself in the exotic smell of soap and shampoo. Hell, Levi could probably make vinegar smell exotic on him.

'Heh,' the older made a small, impatient sound. 'And what will you tell your professor? I'm curious,' Levi remarked, nipping along Eren's jaw line and grazing his teeth across tan skin.

Eren struggled to think. The hand on his length was moving leisurely, erotic in its ministrations and stroked his member at just the right pace.

'_Ngh_, a robodog... _fuck._.. ate my homework?'

Levi let out a sly smile and ran his thumb over the slit of Eren's manhood.

'Try harder, trooper.'

Eren flushed and squeezed his eyes shut. Oh, two could play this game. He bit down on Levi's collarbone and licked the pale skin over it, his hands grasping to touch every bit of Rivaille's exposed flesh, his curved hips, the edges of the towel and smooth expanse of the man's chest.

'Try _harder_,' Levi urged and Eren wasn't sure what they were talking about anymore.

'That, uh, I'm a peacekeeper married to a very _very_... horny bastard across the galaxy,' he lost his composure when the hand jerking him off did a rough curl. 'Oh god, _nghh_- whatever you did just now, do that _again_.'

Levi's other hand moved to Eren's chin, tilted his head up and drew him into a deep, wet kiss.

'Much better,' Levi approved.

..-..

Later that night, when Eren was considering how to convince Krobe to eat his Newtonian Mechanics assignment, Eren heard Levi rummaging through the bedroom closet. The older man had the patience to shower again (_how_, Jaeger couldn't fathom understand) and the clean freak had dressed into a respectable long cuffed shirt and khakis. Eren was still buried under his pillow, contemplating whether the trip to the bathroom was worth the effort.

He saw Levi disappear into the deep realms of the wardrobe closet, pull out a large box (that looked like gaming console Xbox 360) and two head gears with cables attached to them.

'Whoa, whoa, what the hell is that?' Eren asked, pointing to the thing. 'I'm not into weird shit like tentacle sex in case you got the wrong idea.'

Levi stopped in his tracks, startled at the outburst.

'What? Oh, this?' he said, sitting down at the edge of the bed. He began to unravel the cables and separated the two helmets neatly.

'It's called TSM,' Levi explained, which wasn't really much of a helpful explanation.

Eren cast a dubious look at the cables.

'TSM as in... Tentacle Sex Machine?'

Levi gave Eren an exasperated look.

'No, you fucking _moron_. Why the hell are we talking about tentacles in the first place? TSM for Transverse SubConscious Merger, you ignoramus.' Levi proceeded to put the headgear on Eren but the younger jabbed a knee against his chest, stopping him midway in approach.

'Hold on. First, tell me what it does,' Eren prodded, cocking up a suspicious eyebrow. 'I'm _not_ getting hooked to things I don't understand.'

'Eren,' Levi gave a restive sigh. 'Do you trust me?'

The brunette exchanged a wary glance between the device and Levi's face. With a roll of his turquoise eyes, he shook his head and gave a begrudging nod in consent.

Levi smirked.

'Good. Now, put your tentacle sex machine on and close your eyes, imbecile.'

Yep, he'd married such a sweet talker, Eren thought wryly.

..-..

Eren found himself standing in a dim lit white corridor with doors running along the length of the whole passage. He looked at himself and found that he was surprisingly not attached to any cables and didn't have any strange helmets adorning his head either. He was bare foot, wearing his Guns n Roses t-shirt and ripped jeans, yep, everything exactly the way he'd gone to bed. Except for this eerie hallway.

He almost jumped to the ceiling when a hand drew itself around his shoulder. It was a comforting hand.

He turned to find Levi standing beside him, the shorter man dressed in the same long sleeved white shirt and khakis.

'Where are we?' Eren asked. 'What did you _do_?'

Levi drew him towards the doors.

'Inside your head, Eren. Your subconscious to be precise. You're going to be giving me a tour of your memories.'

'No fucking way.'

'_Yes,_ fucking way. Lead on.'

'Man, I'm already tired of your tour of my other parts tonight. Can we do this some other time?'

'No, consider it akin to pillow talk.'

'Pillow talk?' repeated Eren with a low growl. 'Why the hell can't anything be normal in Titan?'

Levi's attention remained fixed on the hallway, running along its length.

'Eren, I'm counting twelve doors here. The longer we stall, the more tired the host body gets.'

'And by host, I'm assuming you mean _me_?'

Levi nodded.

The brunette walked to the first door gingerly.

'So, you're telling me each of these doors lead down to my important memories?'

'Yes.'

'That's ridiculous.'

'Try it.'

Eren gave him an odd, searching look. But Levi didn't seem to be pulling his leg. The young peacekeeper clasped the brass door knob and turned it with a loud click.

* * *

**.I.**

They were standing in a hospital ward room. Eren ran a hand through his brown hair, in a mix of surprise and amazement. 'You've got to be kidding me. This thing actually _works_?' he trailed, peering around the strange hospital. 'Where are we?'

Levi walked to a corner and reclined against it, with a foot on the wall. Doctors in white coats and nurses in blue scrubs were moving about, exchanging medical samples and clipboards and surveying one patient to the next. In the tide of people, Levi spotted them. It was hard not to recognize the woman. A surreptitious smile played at his lips. He motioned for Eren's attention to the end of the aisle. Eren followed his line of sight and his breath got caught up in his throat.

At the end of the long aisle, Carla Jaeger was cradling a baby in her arms, his father Grisha sat next to her, watching on in amusement.

'How is this a memory?' Eren mumbled. 'I don't even remember being here.'

'But your subconscious does,' Levi announced from his corner.

Eren looked around, wondering if the rush of people in the ward could hear them. No, a memory. A static memory. Nothing could be changed about it.

Levi watched Eren as a despairing look came upon Eren's face. The younger was watching his parents wistfully. He took a step forward, perhaps to join the family but Levi's hand grabbed his elbow and pulled him back. 'It's just a memory, Eren. Nothing more...'

'Y-yeah, I get that.'

But even as he said this, a nurse came up to the new parents, took the bundle from Carla's arms and put the baby into a transport incubator. She began wheeling it towards the double doors. By some stroke of luck, the nurse was interrupted by a physician and she stopped to talk to him. Levi used the opportunity to walk over to the trolley and peer at the child inside. Eren followed him gingerly and cast a perilous look inside the incubator.

And yes, there he was.

Goddam tiny, pink like a cherub. Eyes squeezed shut into wrinkles and little fingers curled into a ball. And there was the tuft of brown hair on his head.

'This is surreal. Is that me?'

Levi snorted. 'Of course, it's you. I can spot it by the way you're drooling over the sheets.'

The baby wriggled free of its blanket, curling on its side. And gave the two of them a rather unabashed view of the Jaeger family jewels.

Eren went beet red, burying his face in his hands. 'Oh God, don't say anything. Please _don't_ say a word-'

Of course, Levi wouldn't be Levi if he stayed quiet.

'Heh. You had a small penis. Good thing you grew up.'

Eren groaned.

'You just _had_ to say it, didn't you? And for the record, everybody starts out small, OKAY?'

Levi gave him a small slip of a smile. The nurse finished her conversation with the doctor. She returned to the trolley and began carting the incubator out of the doors. Eren cast one last look at his parents before Levi caught his arm and began nudging him out through the same doors.

* * *

**.II.**

The second door led out to an arena.

An ice hockey game. Levi looked confused for a small moment. His grey eyes roamed through the almost manic surge of people, the clutter of hockey sticks that sounded through the stadium and the misty chill in the air. 'Your people play a game on ice with frozen butts? What's so great about hitting a puck about with a stick?'

Eren smiled and looked around.

He knew this memory.

They were in the stands and were looking at the game tryouts in progress.

He should be here somewhere. Nine years old? Or was it ten?

Two kids trampled past their booth at the exact same moment.

'I am going to kick your arse, Jaeger. And you can watch me do it,' a small ashbrown urchin was talking to a shorter fellow before him.

'Oh, there you are,' Levi observed astutely. 'One little shit being talked down by another little shit. Glorious.'

Levi was right. Small for his age, Eren didn't hit his growth spurt till fourteen. But he made up for it in his temper. Eren watched as his ten year old self swiped at Jean Kirstein's padded feet.

Jean gave a growl. 'Why, you little weasel-'

Words were exchanged under their breath and whatever Jean had said, succeeded in getting a rise of out his ten year old past.

A scuffle broke out, blows exchanged and a crowd of ardent supporters gathered around them, booing and cheering them on. Suddenly, there was a lull and Eren caught sight of his mother breaking through the crowd. Carla looked furious.

'Eren Jaeger! You're not a savage! Let your friend go this instant!' she tried to pull him apart.

'He is not a friend,' Eren yelled crossly. 'And he started it,' Eren defended, pointing at the balaclava wearing fiend.

Carla boxed his ears much to the delight of the spectators and began yanking him away to the sidelines.

'Ouch, Ouch, Ouch-' Eren yelped in pain, trying to wriggle free from her clutch. 'That hurts, mom! Let go! You're embarrassing me!'

The ten year old caught sight of Jean flashing him a triumphant smile.

'Did you see that? DID YOU SEE THAT?' Eren pleaded with his mother. 'I'm telling you he _started_ it.'

Carla sighed and released him. She crouched before the boy and soothed the glowing, red ears of her son.

'You're just mad because Jean is better at hockey than you are.'

'He is NOT.'

'We can't all be perfect, Eren. Accepting our weaknesses is the whole part of growing up and being human.'

Eren muttered indignantly under his breath.

Carla looked miffed. 'What is it?'

'I'm not mad at him because he is better than me. I'm mad because he _knows_ it.'

'Oh, Eren,' his mother said, drawing him into a warm hug.

'Besides, why does he get to have a dad that is always around... while my father is cooped up in the basement all the time. Fucking unfair-'

'Language!' Carla hissed, getting up and began steering the boy towards the arena exit. 'Such foul language. Where did you pick up all these habits? Oh Eren, what will I do with you?'

The mother and son disappeared into the meandering crowd, leaving Levi and Eren alone.

Levi looked at the young man beside him.

'Still have that potty mouth of yours, _Oedipus_.'

Eren gave a scoff though a bittersweet smile played at his lips. He turned to Levi and managed a glare.

'Coming from you, I'm not offended at all.'

'Who was the chap?' Levi said, nodding towards Jean who was taking shots at the net with his hockey stick. 'Yes, score!' the boy high-fived his rag tag group of little friends. Jean was strangely determined when he wanted to be.

Eren grimaced at the sight of the boy.

'A rival.'

They began walking towards the exit of the ice hockey stadium.

Levi passed a glance at the small boy again. The ashbrown kid in the middle of the ring.

'Jean, his name? Is he... still around?'

'Yeah, we're in the same year of college. Still an arrogant arsehole. Why... you jealous of a ten year old, Corporal?'

'Hmm, no, of course not.'


	2. Part 2

TWELVE DOORS TO A BLUE-GREEN WORLD

_(Or Twelve Doors to His Heart contd.)_

* * *

**.III.**

'I don't like this one. Can we go back?' Eren suggested as soon as he stepped through the third of the doors to his subconscious. He stopped mid-step and attempted to turn around, Levi almost bumping into his back.

But the raven haired corporal caught the fabric of his t-shirt and held on. Levi turned down Eren's request with a curt shake of his head. There was a strange determination in his storm eyes as they roamed the hallway, momentarily pausing over the wavering lights of Eren's psyche corridor. The host was already showing first signs of exhaustion, the first signs of an emotional drain.

'Levi, no,' there was urgency in the younger's tone. 'I don't want to see this,' Eren protested. 'And you wouldn't want to, either.'

'On the contrary, I want to know everything about you, Eren. Your deepest, darkest _secrets_,' Levi murmured in his characteristic brooding voice. Levi smirked and gave the keeper's face a searching look. 'Why? Is it something embarrassing? Jacked off to a wet dream that you don't want me to know about?'

'You're a prick, you know that?'

Levi knew he was. But it didn't stop him from giving Eren a soft shove through the door.

Levi found himself standing on the porch of a townhouse. It was the hour of dusk (or was it dawn?), the sky lit up in a mesmerizing hue of darkening blue and orange. He'd almost forgotten that Eren had lived his entire life under a different sky than his, a bluer and redder one. A brighter one that wasn't overshadowed by the filth of a bleak, condemned future in scraper cities. There were sycamore trees around the house that swayed with a breeze he couldn't feel. Levi watched children cycling down the street, emitting squeals of delight. The wonders of this other world did not cease and he wished he had an eternity to stop and observe all the nuances around him. Like the creaking swing in a neighbour's house. Like the old man taking his dog out for a walk (an actual live Rottweiler, Levi mused). He wished he could feel the wet strands of green grass below his feet but there were limitations to experiences on TSM and he had to be content with the vision of Eren's memories.

Beside him, Eren stood like a pallid shade of pale, not even paying attention to the little wonders around him. The brown haired young man had his hands twisting into his t shirt, wrenching the material and he was watching the front door of the house as if he had a foreboding sense of ill.

Soon enough, the door arched open and Levi saw a man walk out with a briefcase in hand. Shadows and ghosts hung on to the coat tails of Grisha Jaeger. His face looked thinner, more sallow than the last time Levi had seen him with Baby Eren. Grisha pulled on a bowler hat and placed it over his thinning hair discreetly. He stroked his small beard in silence, a strange madness in his eyes.

'Dad! Dad!' a voice called as Grisha started walking down the porch.

Levi felt Eren go frigid beside him and he reached out with a hand to wrap it around the youngster's left wrist. To hold him steady. To lend his own support. To apologise for all this with unsaid words. He didn't really know why. Nor did he care for the reasons anymore.

Eleven year old Eren arrived at the front door, panting and breathless as if he'd just made a mad dash down the stairs. He stood by the mahogany door, green eyes darting between the briefcase to his father's face.

'You're really leaving?'

Grisha was surprised to see him.

'Eren,' his father called his name, reaching out with a hand.

Eren's eyes were wide, a familiar anxiety to them.

'No, you can't be really leaving. You can't be serious! She is crying, dad! She is crying in the kitchen! What did you _say_ to her?'

Grisha said nothing and retracted his outstretched hand as if it were an offending limb. He stood on the porch, looking oddly out of place with this blue green world. Grisha Jaeger knelt before the boy and one hand went into his pocket to retrieve a golden key from it. He took Eren's hand and pressed the key into the eleven year old's palm. Grisha folded Eren's fingers over it numbly and gave him a pensive, indulging smile of assurance.

'Take care of Carla, Eren. You're the only one who can. Take good care of your mother.'

Eren's lips wobbled, half in anger and his eyes teared up.

Turning wordlessly, Grisha picked up his briefcase and began to walk away.

His son shook visibly, his small, lean shoulders threatening to be overcome by the tremors of fury and maybe even tears.

'You can't be fucking serious! What's this supposed to be? A souvenir?' Eren yelled after him, dangling the key by its string.

Grisha paused, his expression furrowed in the light of dusk.

'I know you're angry. I know you want to toss it away. But keep it. Keep it in my memory. Someday you'll understand.'

Eren clenched his fingers into balls, staring furiously down at the wretched metal trinket in his hand.

'It's _junk_. I don't want it. I _don't_ want to remember you. And I will take care of mom, you wait and watch. I will take care of this family better than _you_ ever did.'

Grisha smiled.

'I'm sure you will. But you need to stay away from the basement, Eren. Remember it.'

'Go to hell. Don't ever come back. I mean it! Don't EVER come back!'

The door slammed shut and Levi watched the pained expression on Grisha Jaeger's face. The man shook his head in faint regret and staggered towards the gate, the ghosts and shadows of his life looming after him.

Levi looked at the brown haired young man beside him, who was studying the key around his neck.

'Eren, you still hate your dad?'

Eren was strangely quiet, the sublime sunlight glowing against his tan skin.

'Frankly, I don't. Because it was a man who pretended to by my dad. Atleast that's what I convinced myself into thinking.'

'Did you ever see him after that?'

Eren shook his head.

* * *

**.IV.**

'Door number four,' said Levi, giving a mock twirl of his wrist and a ridiculous bow.

Eren rolled his turquoise green eyes. He took a deep breath, turned the knob and walked in.

They were standing in an alley and there were two boys huddled behind a red bricked fence. Levi recognised a slightly older Eren and the blond from one of the Polaroid photographs in the apartment of 1263. Armin, he believed. Armin Arlert, the best friend who was always by Eren's side, tutoring the idiot and the one who'd introduced Eren to the world of books. Levi was surprised he had actually listened in the past.

The sky was a dazzling blue spotted with clouds, a sky so unlike the one of Titan. It struck Levi odd that the two boys would choose to hide in a grimy place in such good weather.

'And what the hell are you two little shits doing?' Levi mumbled to the man beside him.

Eren had a subdued smile on his lips as he watched Armin and his younger self huddle for cover.

'I can take them on,' the brunette boy insisted to the small one beside him. 'I will smash them to pulp, make them cry tears of blood, I swear.'

Armin clasped Eren's hand in his own and shook his head vigorously.

'Eren, don't be stupid.'

'They called you a faggot, Armin.'

'Yeah, well, the whole world calls me that. Are you going to pick a fight with everybody?'

'I will,' was Eren's swift answer.

Armin stared at him, words lost in his mouth. 'God, you really are an idiot. You know why? They'll pound your ass, you know it. They're bigger, larger than us. They're bullies because that is how the food chain works, Eren.'

'What does size have anything to do with it? Friends gotta stick out for each other.'

There was a squeal of laughter from the street. Bikes skidded to a screeching stop on the gravel.

'Hey _Arlerty_! Come out, come out wherever you are, you pussy!'

Levi watched as the young brunette ground his teeth and despite Armin's protests, jumped over the brick fence with a feral roar.

Levi turned to Eren and cocked up an eyebrow.

'I'm guessing... they beat the living daylights out of you?'

Eren nodded ruefully. 'Yeah, that they did. Seven stitches and a trip to the infirmary. And _also_ a trip to the local police prefecture,' Eren admitted with a good natured grin. 'But I managed to return two black eyes and a kick to the groin. So, I like to think it was a draw, Corporal.'

'Hm? Not _bad_,' Levi admitted and reached out with a hand to ruffle the mussy brown hair. 'Good work, trooper.'

Eren was surprised to detect the pride in his voice.

'Wait. Did I hear that right? You're actually _appreciating_ me? Is the world coming to an end?'

Levi gave a muffled grunt.

'I take it back.'

* * *

**.V.**

Door number five opened to a bathroom. A faucet leaked in the silence. A wet towel hung draped over the sides of the bathtub. Fifteen year old Eren held a razorblade ready in hand and a snarl burning away on his lips.

Levi stood at the door, cracking his knuckles with grey eyes narrowed into slits.

A droid dog hovered in the doorway, watching the charged atmosphere with a tail wagging behind it. It barked like an impromptu cheerleader, thrilled to its metallic core.

The two men standing on the sidelines exchanged furtive glances. The older Eren tried to walk out back into the psyche hallway.

'Where's the fire? Settle down, cadet.' Levi said, catching the sleeve of his t-shirt.

'But we _know_ how this is going to turn out. Let's go, Levi.'

'And miss me kicking your butt? Hell no!'

Eren winced as the Levi in the bathroom proceeded to do just that. There was a violent tussel and the teenager ended up being pinned to the floor.

'_Ouch! Geroff me, you sicko! GET OFF!'_

'_English, huh? That's a relief. And I would love to **get off** as you put it but you're not legal yet.'_

Eren frowned, scratching his nose thoughtfully.

'Man, these memories must be rigged. Planted! I've been framed. This seriously can't be in the top twelve.'

Levi gave a smug look in return and pulled at his cuffs. 'Admit it, Jaeger. It was love at first sight. Or should I say... love at first _spanking_.'

Eren flipped him the middle finger.

* * *

**.VI.**

Door number six led into the Senate House, the Courts of Justice. Eren was sitting battered and bruised on a couch, a fierce gash over his right eyebrow and blood dripping down his jaw line. There was Hanji pressing a swab of medicated cotton to his mouth.

'You really overdid it this time, Levi,' Hanji admonished her comrade. 'Couldn't you have gone easier on the poor kid?'

Levi was leaning against the wall, watching the boy solemnly. The fifteen year old couldn't read the expression in his face.

Commander Erwin turned to Eren with a benign smile. He spoke at length about how having Eren instated into the PeaceCorps was a tactical advantage. The universal gate key, he proclaimed, would aid their quest to secure the gates on the other side, which was something never done before. Erwin apologised for the violent act put on before Zachlay, calling it a necessity for winning against the prosecution. The commander knelt before Eren and smiled gratuitously, reaching out for a handshake to welcome him into the PeaceCorps.

Eren nodded earnestly.

'You know the blood oath, right?' Erwin Smith asked, eyes gleaming under the statue of Lady Justice.

'A peacekeeper, bound to serve and protect till death. Honorable, loyal and to live for others before self,' Eren said, placing a right fist over his heart the way he'd seen the Titans do.

Erwin's smile grew wide. 'You're quick to learn.'

Levi walked to the couch and sat down beside the boy, crossing his knees. He looked at the boy intently.

'Say Eren. Do you hate me?'

Eren flinched a little and shook his head.

'No... uh, sir.'

Levi watched him from the corner of his eyes.

'Good.'

And the scene faded into the shadows leaving Levi and Eren standing in the hallway, staring at door number six.

'Did you mean that, Jaeger?' Levi asked after a long drawn silence.

Eren gave a nod in passing. 'I can never hate you, Levi. You know that.'

Levi turned to him sharply, gauging him under the dim lights of the corridor.

'You shouldn't have come back, you know,' Levi said, looking at the closed door again. He brought up a hand and pressed it against his closed eyes. 'After all the trouble I went through to send you back, you should have stayed put in your world. You could have had the normal life of a teenager.'

Eren smiled and took Levi's hand in his. The older man looked at him in surprise as Eren pressed a soft kiss to the pale, porcelain fingers beneath. 'I'm persistent, Corporal. Haven't you learned that about me yet?'

* * *

**.VII.**

Sergeant Dita Ness was using a laser pointer on a projection screen, showing an intricate diagram of the world of Titan. He wore an old fashioned bandana and had taken it upon himself to educate the young minds on 'Titan History and Political Affairs.' He loved teaching and he considered it to be a two way learning process since his class this year consisted of a mix of born and bred Titans as well as the few rare Earthlings. Namely, a quiet, withdrawn blond girl and a fiery spirited boy who struggled to keep awake in class. Dita had spent numerous occasions, trying to prod the twerp from sleeping.

Dita Ness began drawing lines on the white board with a marker.

'The Titan world was formed when our Earthen ancestors from the medieval era discovered wormholes, the tears in the fabric of our universe. A large number of our ancestors, the able bodied, healthy, the curious and the intelligent migrated over the wormholes with livestock and supplies during the Ottoman Empire. These wormholes, which like most parts of our unstable cosmic universe, disappeared soon after... leaving no means to return for a significant population that began calling themselves 'Titans'. Are you folks with me? Paying attention?'

Thomas nodded earnestly while Annie Leonhart flagged a hand in mock indifference, asking the man to proceed.

'Okay, that's good. Now, the Titan planet, as you might have observed, is inhospitable to living life because of the aging sun. Five hundred years ago, it was possible to create our cocoon cities and dwell in artificial communities. With the growing population, the weaker sections of society are now slowly being driven out. Our floating plantations can only help support a portion of the population. To counter this, the gates came into being. Titan's manmade answer to the wormholes. As I'm sure some of you have noticed, there has been quite a tangent in the advancement of science between the two worlds. The Titans have progressed at a far greater pace than our counterparts. And I wonder if the constant war on Earth (The Medieval Feudal Wars, World War I and II) and lack of mutual cooperation has hindered science on Earth. While Earthborns spent a large amount of their resources in the arms race, we have actually been figuring out ways to help mankind. It has been the Titan objective to perhaps, one day, extend a hand of friendship to our former mother- Earth. The gateways remain our greatest experiment in that cause. Of course, radical elements in society think it worthwhile to disrupt-'

Eren yawned as he sat at his desk. Thankfully, no one heard him. Well, no one except Marco Bott.

Freckles turned to give him a disconcerted look.

'What?' Eren echoed. 'A man can't yawn?'

Marco rolled his eyes and went back to taking notes. Studious fellow that he was. Studious Titan brain.

Eren bit into the insides of his cheek.

There was a soft rap against the window and Eren turned to find a familiar man outside the training corps classroom. Grey eyes, raven hair and a short temper. Levi stood in the corridor of the academy, watching him with that poker face of his. Eren's eyes widened a little, wondering if his pseudo guardian had seen him slacking off.

Levi glared at him through the glass.

Yep. He'd seen _all._

The adolescent gulped but put on a brave face.

Eren mouthed '_What? What did I do this time?_'

Levi scowled.

'_Concentrate, asshole_,' mimed Levi in return.

Eren broke into a good humored, enthusiastic smile. He pointed to his watch and made a sign with hand to mouth. '_You ate yet, sir?_' he tried to signal and then, pointed between himself and the raven haired man outside the classroom. _'Can I join you for lunch?'_

Levi rolled his eyes, glowering at Eren and the world in general.

'Eren Jaeger, who are you talking to?' the PeaceCorp sergeant Dita Ness asked from the front of class.

All twenty pair of eyes turned to him.

Eren had been leaning so far back in his chair, he lost his balance, tilted like Titanic hitting an iceberg and his brown head met the ground in a thud. He staggered up, standing clumsily to attention and dusted himself free. He shook his head with his right fist upon his heart. 'No one, sir. No one.'

From the corner of his eyes, he saw Levi give a small smile, almost a laugh. And the black haired man slipped into the shadows. Eren watched him leave wistfully.

'Oi Jaeger, are you listening?'

'YES SIR. I'M SORRY! I WAS LISTENING TO EVERY WORD, I SWEAR!'

Everyone in class snickered.

The Eren and Levi from the future watched the proceedings in awkward silence.

'You know, Eren,' said Levi. 'That sign you made just now is not for lunch. I remember you making it every single fucking day and I never told you what it meant. Did you ever have a chance to go through the Titan army guide book?'

'What?' asked the young keeper beside him, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise. 'I thought it meant food! What the hell was I signalling to you for three whole years?'

'That you were offering to give me a blow job. Every single fucking day. Never got old, that one. Hanji wanted to tell you but I made her promise she won't.'

'WHAT? You're kidding me!'

Eren went the remarkable shade of red.

'You really should have concentrated in your classes, stupid brat. Titan prevails, _sweetheart_. Titan prevails.'

* * *

**.VIII.**

Door number eight led into the familiar road outside Jaeger home. They were standing under the sycamore trees again, the trees little taller, denser than before and a marked shade of brown. Levi turned to the front of the townhouse and watched as adolescent Eren stumbled out of the front door in a daze, a backpack across his shoulders. His brown hair tousled and heaving slightly, his attention came to the woman sitting on the porch's steps.

'Mom?' he called.

Carla was leaning against a pillar, her head buried in her hands.

'Hey Mom. I'm home,' Eren said, a frantic edge appearing in his voice.

Carla turned to her son, tears lining her eyes. She had aged from the last time Levi had seen her.

'Eren...? Is that you? Oh, thank God! Where have you been? I thought you left me.'

'What? No, I told you, didn't I? I'm training for the army...'

But Carla broke into tears, hiding her face in her palms.

Eren dropped his backpack and drew his mother into his arms wordlessly. He clasped her face in his hands and looked into her eyes, very much like his own.

'It's okay. I'm here now. I'm sorry if I worried you. I should have come back earlier. I'm such an idiot. Please stop crying!'

'Eren,' his mother called. 'Oh, Eren. You should apologize to your dad too.'

A shadow passed over the teenager's face.

'What're you talking about? Dad left years ago.'

'Don't be ridiculous, Eren. He is in the basement where he has always been. Working as always. Try to be quiet as you walk down the hallway. He doesn't like being disturbed when he is at work,' she smiled in that forlorn way of hers.

The eighteen year old looked at his mother and Levi watched something break in him. But the teenager pulled it together and nodded.

'Y-Yeah. Of course, he is,' he said, frowning with bitterness.

Levi looked at the young man beside him. Eren was looking across the street, face turned away.

'What's wrong with her?' Levi asked.

There was a strained, nervous silence.

'Schizophrenia... She gets delusions and stuff,' Eren replied.

'Is there a cure?'

'No, not in my world.'

Levi grabbed his wrist and pulled him into a one armed hug. Eren sighed, crossing his arms and buried his head against the linen shirt of Levi. It was an awkward pose especially since Jaeger was taller than him.

Rivaille dug his hands into the pockets of his khakis. 'Sorry, I didn't think-' Levi bit the corner of his mouth.

Eren refused to look at him but Levi watched as his shoulder gave a shiver. And the older man felt a growing wetness across his shirt.

'Hey brat,' Levi called, running a hand through strands of brown hair. 'If you want to cry like a baby, don't hold back. I won't tell anyone.'

Eren nodded and shifted against Levi's collar.

'Not even if I get snot all over your shirt? You okay with that, Rivaille? I will get it _dirty_, you know.'

Levi winced at the thought.

'... yeah, it's fine. Cry yourself dry. I'll wait for you.'

* * *

**.IX.**

'How are you feeling?' Levi asked him as they walked across to the ninth door.

Eren shrugged, though his green eyes were still a little red. 'It's fine. Just memories right. There is nothing I can do to change the past. But I want to fix the future. Our future.'

'We can continue this later. The choice is yours, Eren.'

Eren looked at the door and shook his head.

'No, this is a learning experience for me too. Come on, let's go in.'

They were standing in an indoor stadium, just outside a ring. The crowd of spectators was gathered in the seats round the ring. Eighteen year old Eren came out of the dressing-room and sat down in an obscure corner at the end of the barrier which divided the gymnasium into two parts. The gong rang and Levi watched in growing amusement as the teenager bustled in through the barricade, being egged on by his gym coach. Eren's Irish coach was enthusiastic despite the boy almost tripping over the ropes.

'Get inside, Jaeger. Show that Kirstein what yer all about!' yelled the pink faced Irish coach. 'Give 'im a left and a right, and a left again!'

'Yeshhh sirrr!' nodded Eren, through his red mouth guard. He was decked in pugilist shorts and boxer gloves. On his head, Eren wore a blue headguard and there was a familiar bloodlust blazing in his eyes.

The ashbrown in the ring motioned with a hand, asking Eren to come forward. Jean Kirstein smirked at him.

_Let's see what you're all about, Jaeger,_ the taller boy seemed to say.

Levi looked at the young man beside him and frowned. 'That kid again?'

Eren shrugged. 'I told you, right. Friendly rival. We took up featherweight boxing in high school.'

Levi didn't like the _friendly_ part about it at all. Or the fact that the kid was _everywhere_.

Eren Jaeger, Levi realised from watching the tussle, was a two-handed fighter of the rushing type. Which was a tactical disadvantage against someone with good technique like Jean Kirstein. Eren found himself against the ropes, blinking from a heavy hit between the eyes. Through the mist he saw his opponent sparring up to him, and as he hit, he side-stepped. The next moment he was out in the middle again, with Jean pressing him hard.

Eren in the ring, unsurprisingly, gave up on strategy and went in for the attack while Jean defended well. Punch after punch. Dive after dive. Soon, Eren was the one panting breathlessly. The ashbrown didn't miss the opportunity and swooped in like a vulture after its kill. Eren felt a jab into his ribs and a close cut against his jaw.

'That must have hurt,' Levi remarked, wincing on his behalf. 'You're pathetic. Did Keith Shadis teach you nothing?'

'Wait, hold on,' Eren insisted, his eyes glimmering under the lights of the stadium. 'Here it comes. My signature move. The one that earned me the nickname Suicidal Bastard.'

And Levi watched as the Eren in the ring stumbled a few steps back and wiped the trickle of blood from his lips. And then, without warning, he climbed the ropes, hoisted himself over them for leverage and came spinning against Jean with a war cry.

Jean was so caught offguard, he yelled an expletive and ducked under the avalanche of arms.

Eren got the opening he was looking for and landed a suckerpunch to the guts of the taller boy.

It was all over in half a minute.

The gong sounded.

Levi pressed a hand to his face, a smile having crept out without his permission. He hid it well.

'You got disqualified, right? Please tell me you got disqualified for that.'

Eren laughed.

'Yep. But it was so worth seeing that expression on horseface.'

Levi repressed the emotion to laugh.

'You know, that move... looks a lot like mine.'

Eren turned around sheepishly, moving towards the exit. 'Nope, you're imagining things.'

Levi knew it was a lie.

* * *

**.X.**

Eren stood before door number ten, arms extended over the door frame, refusing to grant entry. Levi gave him a lingering glance of suspicion.

'Let's skip this one,' Eren insisted.

'Why? You know where it leads to?'

Eren fidgeted, not meeting Levi's eye. 'Yeah. I... have a clue. And I really think we should skip it.'

Levi sidestepped him and caught hold of the knob.

Eren desperately tried to block him.

'Rivaille, no. I SWEAR, _NO_!'

Levi managed to turn the brass knob despite the human barricade and the door opened by a thin slip.

There was a blue tinted darkness inside and the unmistaken sounds of heavy breathing. Not to mention, Eren's colourful language rang out from under the neon lights.

Eren grappled for the door, trying to shut it. But Levi smirked at him.

'Oh, your first time? I remember you telling me I was your third. So, who was the first? That Jean kid?'

'What? No!'

'Hm, a... girl?'

Eren looked at him in aggravation.

'Who then? I'm not going to leave until I find out.'

Eren blanched and scratched his chin. 'Just... someone_ special_. Can we give it a rest?'

'Someone special,' mimicked Levi and snorted. 'Duh, he's got a door for himself. I admit I'm jealous. Was he _that_ good?'

'Levi, can we-'

Levi shook his head in answer.

'STEP AWAY, SOLDIER!' Levi demanded.

'OVER MY DEAD BODY, SIR!'

'Eren!'

'Levi, it was an intimate moment, please-'

'And miss out on the free porn? Hell, no. Especially not when you're in it, _sunshine_.'

Despite Eren's vehement protests, Levi pushed him against the frame and forced entry.

It was a dark room and Levi recognised it to be oddly familiar. There was a bed, a fairly large king sized bed and the outline of sweaty bodies heaving on it. The blinds were pulled down and a Levi from five years ago was... well doing what he did best. Pleasuring with his mouth and dirty talking his way through an orgasm. Eren was muttering things under his breath that did not sound like a legitimate language on either planet.

Levi glanced at the young man beside him and gave him a long look.

Eren balked under his scrutiny.

'Ok, fine, I admit it. You were my _first_. Happy? Can we move on now before I have to dig a hole in the ground to bury myself in embarrassment?'

Levi reached out with a hand and ruffled his hair. He leaned in to whisper against Eren's earlobe.

'You're an idiot. As if I didn't know that.'

'Yes, I lied, you don't have to rub it in- wait, what? YOU KNEW? AND YOU STILL WANTED TO WALK IN? Oh man, Levi, you take exhibitionism to new heights!'

Levi turned to the figures on the bed. The two men had exhausted themselves and drifted to sleep on the shoulders of each other. There was the smell of sex in the air but also something else. Helumbary in the balcony and Eren. A whole lot of Eren. There was that strange feeling again in his heart.

But before he could pay attention to it, Eren was dragging him out by his arm.

The shorter man smirked. 'You know, I _am_ pretty good. From an unbiased observer's point of view.'

'Oh man, you're truly impossible. Can we leave? THIS IS MORTIFYING!'

'We're skipping out on free porn, you realise.'

* * *

**.XI.**

'Motherfucking gods of Titan, it's like watching one of those cheap romantic comedies from your world, Eren.'

'Hey, I'll have you know it was the best damn proposal in the world. No, make that the best damn proposal in the entire _universe_. Something no one in their right mind would have said no to,' Eren grumbled, drawing shapes in his jeans.

'And somehow we still got married. Explain to me how that ever happened.'

They were sitting on the sidewalk, under the red awning of a pub. People rushed in and out of the small pub, paying little attention to these invaders of memory. Levi watched as the scene unfolded in an alley outside Diablo. Eren had shoved him up a wall and was kissing him in a quiet, half drunken stupor. One hand slunk into the pocket of his parka and he drew out a box.

'What the hell is that?' the Corporal had asked back then.

'Marry me,' drunken Eren said breathlessly, taking one of the metal bands out. 'It's a wedding ring. I don't have much of savings but this should do. Oh, come on, Levi! Don't glare at me as if I'm giving you some sort of nuclear weapon of mass destruction. It's just a wedding ring but... it means a lot to me. So you better keep it.'

'Eren... No,' was Levi's answer.

'What?'

'I said no.'

'No, you won't keep it or... no, you hate me, won't marry me and never see me again?'

Levi pushed the younger man off him.

'Eren, you're what... twenty one?' the older man asked him in half exasperation.

'Yeah, well, you're not exactly getting any _younger_, Corporal sir.'

'Damn you. I'll have you know that the average life expectancy of a Titan is hundred and twenty. You think you can beat that, puny earthborn?'

Eren gaped and pressed a fist against his forehead.

'Seriously? So, I'm going to die first? That's not a reassuring thought.'

'Yes and you will leave me your penniless arse for an inheritance. Imagine me sulking at your funeral and calling you a bastard for not leaving me anything but poorly graded college assignments. I don't look forward to that. Heck, I don't look forward to wasting tears on you either.'

A strange misty expression came over Jaeger. 'Wow. We'll be like Aragorn and Arwen.'

'Arawhat?'

'Uh, Lord of the Rings. This mega hero called Aragorn dies and his elf wife Arwen cries herself to death. Kinda romantic and stuff. So, how come we're planning our funerals and old age but you haven't said yes yet.'

Levi gave a low growl from his throat.

'Eren, you do realize that marriages are contracts in my world. Like everything else. You need to give something and take something in return. What do you have to offer?' Levi prompted him with crossed arms.

'What do I have to offer?' Eren echoed furiously. 'What is this? A law treaty?'

'Yes,' replied Levi and broke into a smile. '_Persuade_ me, smartstuff.'

Eren pouted and thought over it with all due seriousness.

'Think well, brat. I might just refuse,' Levi taunted.

The brunette broke into a smile and took Levi's hand in his own, staring into the stormy grey depths.

'I will give you everything I can _give_ and accept everything I can _take_. Now, will you marry me, asshole?'

There was a silence.

Levi watched him in amazement and under the shadows of the alley, Eren almost missed the smile of gratitude.

'... Yeah. I think I will. Sounds like a fair deal.'

The two men sitting under the awning of Diablo looked at each other. Levi glanced at Eren in wonder and shook his head.

'I don't know how you got away with saying sappy shit like that.'

Eren gave a bark of laughter. 'I got away, sir, because it was _you_.'

* * *

**.XII.**

Door number twelve opened to another door.

1263 said the number plate.

Levi looked at Eren in surprise, who smiled back at him.

'Well, what did you expect? It's the only home I've got,' Eren defended indignantly.

The brunette closed the door because that one didn't need any elaboration.

The two stood leaning against the frame, staring at each other in the silent hallway of Eren Jaeger's subconscious. The lights of the psyche corridor had stopped flickering.

'This was... probably the weirdest thing I've ever done but good,' Eren admitted, 'Really good. I don't think I could have put them into words. But you know what I'm pissed about?'

'What?' urged Levi, wrapping an arm around the younger man's waist and pulling him in close.

'You're behind more than half of these doors. I think I should have dated a couple of jerks before I decided to settle down with the jackass corporal from hell.'

Levi smirked, leaning against him till their noses touched.

'On the contrary, I'm not pissed about that at all,' Levi's gaze softened. 'Eren, thanks for letting me into your world.'

Eren gave a mock salute. 'We should do this again. And maybe _you_ can give me a tour next time.'

Levi didn't meet his gaze and looked past Eren's head. He gave a sigh.

'I wouldn't count on that.'

Eren's bubble of enthusiasm deflated. 'And why's that?'

'Because I think we should concentrate on making more memories,' Levi said, pulling Eren down by his Guns n Roses tshirt and pressing a kiss to Eren's messy forehead.

_Because my mind is a dark place. And I don't want you to get lost in its maze. Because some day you will hate me for all this._

He didn't say it out loud and relished in the feel of Eren's tongue in his mouth. When they broke apart, Levi gave him an indulgent smile.

'So... tentacle sex. Is that some fetish I need to know about?'

* * *

_I come no spy_

_With purpose to explore or to disturb_

_The secrets of your realm; but by constraint_

_Wandering this darksome desert, as my way_

_Lies through your spacious empire up to Light._

_Paradise Lost, Book II, Milton_


End file.
